Mystery attack on Green Laser HQ?

The ballistic trajectory pointed right at the spot where I usually sit for my morning newspaper and coffee… There were a half-dozen prime suspects laser pointer . A size 15 shoe print. And a whole arsenal of suspicious projectiles… But at the end of this piece, you’ll wonder why Amberger was wasting your time on this… green laser pointer Don’t say I didn’t warn you! by J. Christoph Amberger, editor, Green Laser Reviews Baltimore, MD—The Daughter of the House reported a sharp whack against the window while doing her homework. The National Merit Scholarship Finalist with the headphones saw no evil, heard no evil, spoke no evil. Just grunted and shrugged, blue laser pointers as usual. Yet, there it was: A bullet-sized hole in the brand-new, custom-made Anderson maple replacement window in the dining room. The ones the painter had just finished a day earlier. One of the 17 that had taken 2 weeks to instal and 2 weeks to stain and seal… And since I heard that modern-day prophets of the End of America were suffering from “threats, all sorts of things being done to him” for telling The TRUTH, I braced myself for the martyrdom that’s the lot of all truth tellers, sooth sayers, and prophets unappreciated in their country. Whodunnit? Since David Caruso turned down my urgent request to send over CSI Miami blonde Emily Procter to investigate—the nerve!—I had to come up with a list of the usual suspects myself. Had my window fallen victim to * millionaires minted by information services pelting my back yard with diamonds and precious stones? * a foreman of the local Wool & Mutton Works having a cow about Green Laser Reviews counter-balancing hype and hysteria with reason and rationality? Red Laser Pointer * a member of the Muslim Brotherhood out to avenge the Egyptian operative who met an untimely end during the climax of The Lazarus Smile? * one of Mr. Stansberry’s early-release jailbirds trying to turn my house into a shantytown for Chungus Khan’s Bicyle Marauders? * or merely a golfing gynecologist on the country club next door? With so much evil possibly stalking my home, can you blame me if I started sharpening a 1903 Prussian mounted artillery saber for home defence? Alas, reality is so much more boring The Face of Evil? The mystery attacker high power lasers on his way to the copper mines Too bad. Like Black Monday, the truth was to be sooo much less exciting. Turned out the size 15 shoeprint was left by a 6’8″ 14-year-old young man of Germanic appearance who was shooting pebbles into an apple box backstop with his trusty Daisy slingshot. He claimed a ricochet glanced off the box and unerringly hit the open casement window. I was trying to blame this on parentage and poor upbringing, but the young man claimed linear descent from myself. A Fruit of My Loom. A reminder of how boring life could be if you don’t have kids to mix things up every now and then… At least he offered to pay for the window. Which, did I mention, had just been finished a day before? So, I’m sorry for wasting your time. But at least, I didn’t turn it into an hour-long video presentation!